| Wow. |
[Nov. 13th, 2009|03:42 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | SHITTY | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Worlds Away - From First to Last | ] |
I have a lot to say. but not now. I'll write my heart out once i'm home alone. too much to say. too much hurt to let out. it will feel good and i cant wait to write my nxt entry.
PS: TOO FUCKING WINDY. APPARENTLY MOTHER NATURE DOESNT LIKE RABBITS. (i have 2 bunnies outside whom i love to death.)
PPS: my BUNNY TRIED PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK WHILE I WAS TRYING TO SLEEP. I WAS KINDA FRUSTRATED BUT IT WAS JUST TOO CUTE SO I LET HIM PLAY. |
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| MUY CONTENTA!!!! |
[Oct. 3rd, 2009|08:23 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
for some weird reason, I am so HAPPY! i have no idea why. It's not really because of the David thing, because that could go nowhere. I mean, if the david thing turns out bad, i think i'll still be happy. it's so ODD. why am i so happy? Hmmm.
Well, my job ROCKS. i love it soooo much! and i made a new friend. She's a cashier too, her name's amanda and she's 19. So far, i'm the youngest employee there. Oh well....
Well, i gotta finish getting ready for work because DAVID AND NOAH are gonna be there!!!!! (i love the name noah) |
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| life |
[Jul. 7th, 2009|12:21 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  determined | ] |
so, im not going to beauty school. i have no idea what i want to do with my life. i have a few ideas and now my mom wont let go of them. she nags me every day. when i'll look for volunteer programs, get a job, go to the air force recruiting office. blah blah blah. okay here's my plan.
1. JOB!!!! Lots of workingggg full time. (1 year)
2. IT Coursesss or ITT Tech (1 year)
3. Volunteer in Florida (2 months)
4. Get a professional IT job (rest of year)
5. After saving money, MIAMI/LA/VEGAS/KEY WEST!!!!
6. Back to JOB!
7. Save more money
8. FILM SCHOOL!!!!
9. LIFEEEEE!!!! |
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| the upside of volunteering at blood drives: |
[Jul. 3rd, 2009|12:59 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
I MET A MYSTERY BOY! of course, i just jinxed it but what's life without risks? I obvi know his name because he had an appointment. I'm such a good stalker that icreep myself out. he graduated from CM last year and he goes to college in new york. on facebook, i have 2 friends in common with him. what a small world! at the drive, i couldnt find the courage to talk to him, so i'm asking for a second chance :( PLEASE. he's cute and polite! so rare in guys!!! and he's white! I never find white guys attractive but this one is a keeper! i'm dying to see him again. I feel like cinderella or something. Since i'm crazy, i searched 5 likely stores in the mall during my break hoping to find him. but my sister let me take a break an HOUR after he left. I was and still am pissed at her for doing that. I couldve caught him if i had left sooner to look for him. I went into ZUMIES, hot topic, book store, cvs, and food court. no luck at all.
i need CM guys or CM-knowledgeable girls to help me. or holbrook kids cuz he lives in holbrook. yes, i am a GREAT STALKER. CIA should hire me.
if anyone wants to help me with my "perfect man" search, feel free :)
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2009|10:38 pm] |
The week i just had was indescribable. my entire family hates my brother's fiancee. she's a raging BITCH. end of story.
On a HAPPIER note, im thinking about getting a TATTOO of the BRUINS LOGO :) What do you think? |
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| stressful summer |
[May. 30th, 2009|06:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
1. i hate my cousin.
2. i'm going to rip her fucking head off.
3. i almost got kicked out of my house
4. aka i would have been homeless if it weren't for my sister.
5. i'm impatiently saving my graduation money to get a kick-ass tattoo of a scroll and quill with film tape draped over it.
oh well. fml. text i guess? |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 28th, 2009|10:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
i dont know who to trust anymore. i'm just scared and mad nervous. after i threw myself into this mess, i realized im not ready for this. i honestly think i'm too immature for a relationship anyways. i'm too clingy. which is anyone's worst nightmare. i'm so fucking stuck right now. i'm gonna see if i can find time to bitch about my life to my guidance counselor. she knows best. and try dalton if she's not busy 6th period. i really hate my life. why does Cupid hate me? what the fuck did i ever do to him? i guess i deserved it. i did it before and i did it again. wow. EPIC FAIL. FML. WTF. OMFG. i'm this close to smashing my phone into a million fuckin pieces :( |
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| MURPHY'S FUCKING LAW >_ |
[Apr. 6th, 2009|10:40 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  enraged | ] |
i feel like i am going to scream. this is so unfuckingfair. my main goal in life is to not end up trapped in Squantum, taking care of my mum. I won't do it. I know it sounds heartless, but for this is my chance to be FREE. my sister is so easily racked by guilt, and she's still here. She stops by every day to take care of my mum. She's FINE. she's not paralyzed for Christ's fucking sake!!!!!
My life plan is ruined. Unless i can get the money on my own, my plan is over. not-do-able.
Life Plan
1. Beauty School: 8 months
2. Job in a salon: 1 year
3. Move to Key West for 2 years
4. Move to Los Angeles
5. Live there forever
Now, i can't do that. Have you ever been in a situation where you're parents are talking about something serious when they think you can't hear them or not listening? Okay, picture this. I'm in the backseat of my car. I have my ipod on. I catch pieces of conversation between my sister and my mom. I turn my ipod off. HERE WE GO.
sis: have you ever thought about turning the den into an in-law apartment?
mom: for me and your dad or you?
sis: You can have. I'll move into the house and i'll have molly with me.
i'll fill you in: apparently something's going on where i guess my mom wont be able to make up a few steps? so now my family's going into panic mode for no fucking reason and now we're turning the house into a 0ne-floorr deal. DUDE, I WANTED A FUCKING MCMANSION.
WHOA. HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.
I'm not staying in this house. I refuse to. i hate this house so much. you know, i was perfectly fine at school today. and then when i got home, i was so sad. because school is like my sanctuary away from home.
I'll do whatever i can to get out. I will work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week if i have to. I'll skip lunch at school. i'll sell my beloved poetry. I'll enter poetry contests. I'll sell my artwork. I'll give it my ALL to get the FUCK out of here.
FUCK MY MOTHERFUCKING LIFEEEEEEE. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 11th, 2009|11:00 pm] |
i decided on bailing out of the college path. technically, none of my siblings have gone to a 4-year college. my sis went to nursing school and tim ended up the military. and i'll be on my way to cosmetology school.
by next april, i'll know how to cut and layer hair, so seriously, i'll cut anyone's hair for a flat rate of $20 =]
and normally, a cut and blow-dry would cost $50-$80 in a salon. So, you've got a good deal with me haha.
i'm adopting a bunny soon. his name is Dasher and he's a mini dwarf rabbit. my sister wants to adopt a bunny too and her name is Astrid. We just need to fill out the adoption forms and schedule an interview. Dasher's mad cute.
CLICK IT!!! HE"S ADORABLE.
www.3bunnies.org/dasher.htm
anyways, i have a D- and a D in history and theology. and an F in web design but not for long. It's just because i havent finished the assignments. and she hasn updated the grades online yet. I'm copying Devonna's history homework over the weekend too, so hopefully that will help. and i have no clue about theology. it's kinda okay though because my parents know that i've had a D in theology all year.
okay, well i have to actually do the homework that i was supposed to do hours ago. =] |
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| FLORIDA in the morning!!!!! |
[Feb. 14th, 2009|10:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | excited | ] |
i'm so pumped to wear the new clothes i bought and the new bathing suit which is madd cute. i love the dresses i bought and i cant wait to wear that to dinner on the island!!! i'll be updating =] |
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| Life Goals: |
[Jan. 26th, 2009|09:09 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | determined | ] |
i told my parents that i was looking for my birth mom and that i think i found her online. they were shocked but supportive.
mona's been giving me really comforting advice. i dont think i'd be alive without it. well maybe but you know what i mean. if you read her messages, you could definitely tell that she's older.
She's only 2 years older than my sister but she's so wise. Plus, my sister acts likes she's 16 so, yeah. Mona's been really great though. I can't wait to meet her next summer!
Franklin Pierce hooks students up with sick internships in the mass communication major so i'm gonna try to see if i can land one in Studio City or Los Angeles. That would be great because Mona could show me around and such.
If all goes well, i might transfer out of Franklin Pierce and into Columbia College Hollywood for my junior year and then graduate from CCH. By then, I'll be 22 and I'll permanently move to Los Angeles. God, i cant wait. 2010 will be here before you know it. Time flies by fast. My summer in L.A. will just be the beginning of it. YES. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 26th, 2008|11:33 pm] |
well i figured out that if it's really her, then she doesn't want to talk to me. i'm not sure whether to give up or try again. christmas would have been 100% great if my sister and dad hadn't made fun of me at the dinner table in front of my whole family.
me being a nerd, i got what i asked for: Ninendo DS. hahaha. and its sort of terrible because it's all i do now.
I sort of can't wait to get back to school because i need to get to the wellness center and work off the millions of candy canes and chocolates i've eaten =] |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 23rd, 2008|08:15 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | anxious | ] |
i'm almost positive that i've found my birth mother!!!!!! i mean, we have the same eyes and nose!! i hope this works out. i messaged her. but the only problem is that she hasnt been online in agesssss.
i'm almost 100% sure that it's her. She has the right name and the right age! And it's all real, then i have a brother named Joshua! As excited i may seem, i'm still really confused about the whole deal. what if she doesnt want to talk to me? And what do i tell my parents? Oh man.
As of now, i'm waiting for a reply. I guess only time will tell. |
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| i WiSH i HAD SCHOOL TODAY |
[Dec. 19th, 2008|10:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cranky | ] |
because i put together gift bags for all my sophomore friends and now i have to wait until after the break!!! ugh. and i was up until 1 in the morning finishing Ali and Taylor's short story just so i could give it to them as a present!!!!! so i really wanted school 2day! it was so retarded. Snow didnt start til like 3 oclock and school was gonna end at noon. WHAT THE FUCK.
i also STiLL havent written my last college essay and mrs spignesi's prolly fuming about that. i hope she sent out my other applications even though she told me that she wanted to send them out together. whatever.
i'm still decorating my room. although i see no point in doing so. i mean, i'll be gone next year in college. oh well.
i miss my friends =[
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 11th, 2008|10:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
i have so much late homework to do for History. wow, i suck at life. but i watched some of twilight today in HTML. i hope it goes to IMAX. that would be sickkk.
ACTs on saturday. FML. thxbyee |
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| THIS PAST WEEKEND WAS HELL |
[Dec. 9th, 2008|09:02 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
And what do i get for it? a shitload of make-up work!!! I couldnt figure out wat to say to mr welch, so i chickened out and layed down in the nurse's office during theology... aka skipping theology. ha! i didnt know you could do that but i guess so! i like the sub-nurse too. she's such a push-over, unlike Katch.
i have to write my college essay for the film college cuz mrs lamadore is sending out my apps soon. I'm also planning to write a letter to the orphanage where i came from. That should be an interesting and emotional task.
I almost died today in Spanish and English class. I honestly dont know how i'm going to survive during the ACTs on saturday. With my luck, I'll have a coughing fit and will have to leave the room. Then i'll lose test time. GREAT. |
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| WHAT A SCANDALOUS THANKSGIVING!!!!! |
[Dec. 1st, 2008|10:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  uncomfortable | ] |
but enjoyable nonetheless. so Tim came home with Sarah. Me and my sis already knew he was engaged and he was yet to tell my parents. He finally told them the night before he left. Boy, were they PISSED. Mom was about to cry and my dad didnt say a word. he just STOMPED upstairs. so, they were INFURIATED. plus, my sis and my parents UNKNOWINGLY PAID for the engagement ring. WOW.
Brendan came over on Thanksgiving to visit Tim. He's like a brother to me and he's always so sweet to me. I'll miss him when he's in Iraq. I already miss Josh, who's also in Iraq right now. God, why the hell are all my friends in Iraq?!?!? Tim's going to Iraq at the end of January. UGH. i want this war to be overrrr. i want my friends back in ONE PIECE.
So, i threw a tantrum over wanting the cheap old macbook because i actually want the old one. and they wont be on sale for long since the new one came out. and of course, my mother said no. So, i settle on a Nintendo DS. Nerdy, dorky, i know. but i actually do want it. and no, i will not tell you what games im asking for!!! WAY TOO EMBARRASSING.
I just finished my college apps tonight and im bringing them in to guidance 2morrow morning. i am so stoked to get these off my back. if i dont get into FPU, i will fucking cry. im praying no one else goes to FPU. that place was MADE for me. i BELONG there. and no one else.
I tried reading Eclipse. I couldn't. i hate Edward too much. A bit dramatic? Yes. Oh well. After reading all four books, im with Jacob all the way. I hate Edward with a fiery passion.
OH. I GOT AN ELECTRIC FIREPLACE IN MY BEDROOM!!!!!!!! WOOHOO. |
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| SCANDAL!!!!!! |
[Nov. 25th, 2008|11:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | here =[ | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | anxious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Weak and Powerless by A Perfect Circle | ] |
i know Kennedy Smackdown! is coming soon. like all my friends said, it's "scandalous". im actually excited about it. this is definitely going to be an interesting Thanksgiving.
I talked to my cousin and my english teacher about my college essay. They both agreed that my parents shouldnt read it because they'd be hurt by it. I honestly think its a good essay [i dont mean to sound cocky] and it's too bad my parents cant read it.
Hannah, you can deff read it.
on a totally different note, I am in love with the movie The Invisible. Oh my fucking God. I cant watch it without crying. But dont take that too seriously because i honestly cry when i watch ANY movie. For instance, i cried at the end of College Road Trip. So, yeah. but The Invisible is an amazing movie. the main character is the son from War of the Worlds with Dakota Fanning and Tom Cruise [yuck].
AND, i passed in my yearbook quote today!!! So glad to have that off my shoulders. [sigh]
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| yessss |
[Nov. 24th, 2008|05:17 pm] |
not that i have the money for it at the moment, but im looking at private investigation companies that might help me with my search.
i wrote about my adoption and my birth mother for my college essay. It was my first draft and i got a 90!!! i didnt think i could write something so personal but i managed to do it.
so yeah, my college essay is mad personal and i wont even let my family read it. i'll prolly let widda and woody read it. that's about it.
by the way, i bombed my social justice research paper. |
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| please fly by. |
[Nov. 20th, 2008|11:06 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
even i dont know how confused i am. its like, i dont like woody because i like someone else, but i miss the old days with him when we carelessly flirted. and when we start that up again soon, i know for a fact i'm gonna fall for him again. the thing is, i promised him i wouldnt like him. that was our deal: if we flirted, i cant like him in that way. this is so complicated in such an unnecessary way, its so stupid and yet nervewracking.
i just wanna get Christmas over with. I know im not going to get what i need/want so why not just speed it up???
i wish i couldve told mrs lamadore everything but i feel as if i told her enough that day. maybe some time in the future, i will tell her the rest, when im ready. on the other hand, i need to get those college apps done!!! im almost done with my college essay. and then i can bring all my apps to guidance.
i cannot wait til the senior/faculty game and spirit day = MDFK <3
i guess everything does happen for a reason. ever since the marie fiasco, me, devonna, farrah, and kayla have been tighter than ever =] and i dont miss marie one bit.
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